egg-u:

mint


1,339 notes | Reblog
3 days ago

(Source: neogohann)


348,746 notes | Reblog
3 days ago

me and bae having sex

bae: mmm yeah fuck me baby
me: put a quarter in the swear jar

72,600 notes | Reblog
3 days ago
prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.


60,024 notes | Reblog
3 days ago
queenofchalices:

FUCKING THANK YOU!!

queenofchalices:

FUCKING THANK YOU!!

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)


150,895 notes | Reblog
3 days ago

ammit420:

horror movie synopsis

  • white family moves into house
  • the house got some shit in it
  • family refuses to acknowledge that they got some shit in they house
  • turns out that shit is some ultrashit

431,595 notes | Reblog
3 days ago

(Source: emptyglasshouse)


129 notes | Reblog
4 days ago
gifss-heaveen:

 Like gifs? Visit my blog! !

gifss-heaveen:

Like gifs? Visit my blog! !


5,604 notes | Reblog
4 days ago

701 notes | Reblog
6 days ago
tranpeaze:

But nooooooooooooooo

tranpeaze:

But nooooooooooooooo


38,467 notes | Reblog
6 days ago

(Source: condescendist)


229,677 notes | Reblog
6 days ago

1 2 3 4 5 »

theme by heartgrenade | powered by tumblr